Off Center
The queue is finally empty
The customers are calm
The reps no longer gasp for breath or cry out for their mom

The ACD did not explode
As many thought it might
It routed all 10,000 calls to agents out of spite

The supervisors now can coach
And work on raising scores
Though might as well forget the reps who’ve sprinted toward the doors

The manager’s exhausted
But has yet another task
To calculate the C-Sat rate – that’s why he has a flask

The call center is quiet now
It’s rare to have such peace
It’s the kind of calm that comes when reps just press “release”

So close your eyes, oh weary ones
You day is now complete
Worry not of calls and chats – you’ll soon be screwed by tweets

In clinical trials, this poem successfully lulled 87% of call center insomniacs to sleep. If, by chance, you continue to struggle with insomnia even after reading this poem, talk to a licensed physician about medications and supplements that can aid sleep. Or, if you need IMMEDIATE relief, simply have a conversation with somebody from Accounting or Legal.  

9/8/2011 12:30:44 am

Great poem Greg. Michelle Babb recommended your blog to me on Linkedin, and I agree with her it's far more humorous than any other call center blog I've come across! I've added your piece to my roundup of great recent call center articles, hope that's ok! You can see it here:

9/8/2011 01:04:45 am

Why, thank you very kindly, Jenni (and Michelle). I'm honored to have you list my odd little customer care ode among blog posts that are actually important.

Much appreciated!


4/25/2012 06:54:04 pm

Brilliant! Made me laugh.

We like to relax our staff in different ways, see here -



Leave a Reply.