Off Center
In a recent landmark study of over 5,000 call center professionals, when asked what was most needed to improve operations, the number-one answer given by respondents was “Irish-style rhymes about customer care.”

Upon learning this, I spent the better part of the next 17 minutes composing the following. Enjoy!

Call Center Limerick #1

There once was a manager who
Micromanaged all reps on his crew
For the reps it was hectic
Each breath was a metric
If you died, well, he measured that, too

Call Center Limerick #2

There once was an agent named Lear
To his schedule he’d never adhere
He’d sign off the phone

Then find his way home
And return too late smelling like beer

Call Center Limerick #3

We aim to up Customer Sat
But nothing’s much tougher than that
With one guy this evening
I used a kind greeting
And swear that the customer spat

Call Center Limerick #4

Our call center’s scary and hectic
I get very buried in metrics
Most measure my speed
Like how fast I can pee
I can’t leave my seat – so I wrecked it

Call Center Limerick #5

My center launched chat out of spite
We know that our staff cannot write
They’re puzzled and vexed
Cause they struggle with text
Unless they’re out Saturday night

Marina Magalnik
3/11/2011 06:37:20 am


3/11/2011 06:43:19 am

Thanks, Marina -- so glad you enjoyed my light verse.

I may convert some of the limericks into full-length films. There hasn't been a good call center movie in a long time. ;)


4/19/2011 12:38:18 am

The first one is most awesome :)

4/19/2011 12:48:42 am

Thank you, Julia - #1 is my favorite, too.

Unfortunately, though, it reflects reality in too many call centers.

Hopefully not in yours! ;)


6/28/2013 04:43:33 am

So happy that you've imprinted your prose into my memory. My family will be so happy to hear me limericking when I get home. Great work as usual, GL!

6/28/2013 04:48:39 am

Why thank you, Andrew. I'm always pleased when my wacky words infiltrate the minds of my innocent readers and wreak havoc on them and their families. It's why I blog.

Appreciate you stopping by, old friend!



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